IN REHEARSAL   Sunday, April 17, 1966   Perry sits in a chair facing the band. Caterina comes in, wearing a fur coat, and gives him a long kiss. People mill about. A girl in a pink suit comes in, Perry hugs her. Cat­erina and Don go roughly through their dance by the band­stand.   A call for the orchestra.   Ella comes in. Perry pats her on the back. Nick to the musicians: "We go back to Bar 47."   Perry stands on the bandstand, mouths the words to the song Turnaround.   Voice (Clark or Ray from controls): "Applause, applause, applause." Someone shows Perry a sketch.   Avalon. Perry: "One more time -- the last time!" They do the end again, and he cries, "One more time!" They do it again.   Voice: "Applause, applause, applause -- then go back to 47. "   Caterina takes pictures of Perry and Ella. She kisses his ear.   Goody wanders about in a pale blue suit.   Baia. While Perry sings, Caterina and Don dance behind the Latin set.   Santa Lucia. Perry makes a remark to Caterina about "musical guitars". He makes a suggestion to Ray and Ray agrees. Perry: "I hate anyone who agrees with met Ya gotta fight me first and then agree with me!"   Perry and Caterina hug. He sings the Italian funny, emphasizing the words wrong. So to pay him back, Caterina sings off-key. He pinches her nose.   A Tisket. Perry touches the beads Ella is wearing. They do the song again. Perry: "Now if I could just get her to learn her part."   Break.   Perry sits down in his chair, talks with script girl Bettina.   Dave's girl Judy Reynolds and a boy come in and talk with Perry for a few minutes, then go out.   A man brings Perry something in a brown paper bag.   He takes it out: it looks like a plastic bag of pale yellow cornmeal.   A man at the edge of the band begins to rule lines on cardboard for cue cards. He talks to someone else about a girl singer. "Is she for real?"   A cue card is shown to Perry who says, "I don't use them. I know my part!" laughs. "This is for John."   He leaves the studio hall.   Judy Reynolds and the boy return and sit behind me across the aisle.   Michi comes in and kisses Mickey.   Carl rushes by and tosses a quick "hi" in my direction. The Lightly Latin LP cover is pegged up on a board and camera shots are tried out. Writer Bill Angelus, Perry's stand-in, is sitting on the latin set stool wearing a Como­type sweater and adding appropriate Como-type gestures.   I'm drinking coffee. Perry comes towards me; I can see him over the rim of the cup. He smiles and winks at me. He sits down with Judy and her friend. I hear him say, "I played golf yesterday, but once I got out on the course it clouded up."   Goody comes up to him and rehearses a joke: I'd like to introduce my good friend, Tony Martin . . . Who? .. Oh ... Well, then, I'd like to introduce my good friend, Tony Bennett ...   They repeat it several times.   Perry lets the other two try on his glasses. Judy: "They I re strong." Perry to boy: "You're far-sighted, I'm near-sighted." Boy: "I'm near -sighted."   Conversation lags for a minute. Perry sings a snatch of song. He's wearing light brown corduroy slacks (baggy), dark green sweater, yellow shirt. He moves farther along the row to talk to Ella and others.   The singers practise positions for the Latin set.   Voice: I thought I might get a little back light on your faces."   Michi comes over to Perry sitting across the aisle and a dozen seats away from me. "Hey, I've got some goodies for you." She shows him a pale yellow sweater.   Take Five.   Bill Angelus does the requests. He's wearing green sweater, dark brown slacks.   Dennis Belline comes in, preceded by wife Sandy. Perry goes up the aisle to sit with them.   Como Show regular Florence, who has been watching the rehearsal, gets up to leave, and reaches for the photos of Perry that she had given him, and which he had left on one of the seats. He sees her out of the corner of his eye and says, "Don't you dare!"   Cameras focus on the taxi. A stagehand goes into the   taxi to fix the light. Humorous comment. Perry, who has come down, hears it: "Keep it in."   Take Five.   Perry disappears for a few minutes.   I ask Charlie Tessar, who sits way up at the back of the theatre and controls the mixing, to give cue card boys Don and Carl a copy of a club press release.   Charlie: "Oh, so you're the one who sends these out -- these Dial Tones."   Ella is on stage.   Voice: "What colour is your dress going to be?" Ella: "Royal blue. Is that no good? Would you rather have a black one?" Voice: "No, no, that's fine."   Let's Do It. Accompanist Jimmy. Cottontail.   Voice: "As we get to the coda of Cottontail, the sax player can leave. Clark's voice: "Hello, Sammy Davis." "Hello, Clark."   And Sammy comes through the cameras towards us. I am surprised at how small he is. He walks like a cat. He goes quickly up to Perry who smiles and shakes hands, but turns red. Sammy hurries out.   Goody to Perry: "You don't even know what 'arrivederchi' means."   Perry comes down and joins Ella on stage for A Tisket. He sings: "Was it puce?" Ella, for the cameraman's benefit: "I don't have a good side." Don gets the release and comes down to see me. Me: "I figured you weren't getting our bulletins, so I brought you one." Don: "No, that's right, we haven't. I'll read this on the way home tonight. I have a book to read too."   Perry's relations leave. Supper break.   Many people leave. Carl introduces friends to Perry, who point in my general direction, and Carl looks too. They leave. Perry sits down and talks to Clark.   Someone picks out Caterina on the piano.   Perry comes straight towards me, raises his eyebrows, and stretches out his arms. I say "hi" in a whisper. He goes past me up the aisle to be introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Frank DeMarino, by Dee. He talks with them for a few minutes. Mr. DeMarino tells him the ages of his children, then takes a Polaroid picture.   Perry: "I never have any luck with those."   It turns out. Perry to Mrs. De Marino: "I think you and I look very good on there." He comes down.   While he is up there, Frank and Mickey are down front, a few yards down from me.   Frank: "They're friends of Dee Belline." Mickey: "Where did Dee find them?"   Frank: "He goes scavenger-hunting ••• Well, guess I'll go for a muffin and coffee."   When Perry is down and in his chair again, Dee suggests something to him, I think that the golf match is on, so Perry says, "Come on, come on," to Bettina and Dee and goes off with them.   Frank and Mickey talk about the problems of kids today. "Woman's sexual revolution -- is this a normal process?" "We're almost getting to be like Denmark." "It was in the papers today -- this girl went into the ocean nude to exploit this free-love -- right on the beach!" (That last, in shocked tones, from Mickey.)   Michi brings Frank some sandals.   Break over.   Voice: "May we have Bill Angelus and his stand-in, Perry Como. "   Bill sings Turnaround. Tape of child's voice. Some very Comoish gestures from Bill.   Perry gets Caterina's guitar, plays a few chords, stamps his feet. He shuffles over to the set for Avalon.   Voice: "We need more balance."   Perry: "He always says the supreme." To Ella, Caterina and Bill (subbing for John): "Well, you ain't the Andrews Sisters ~ " Voice to Caterina and Ella: "Softer on the dooteroos." Caterina, singing: "I wanna go home -- it's late!" and looks at her watch.   Perry, about John Davidson: "Is he as tall as I am? Haha ~" A shorter stool is brought for Ella.   Perry: "Are we on the same level as Caterina? We'll just cut off the legs a little ••• Get rid of the platform altogether. That'll give a little more height over their heads."   Bill has his hand to his mouth a la Como. Perry slaps it.   The platform is removed. Perry: "Would you like to join the Supremes?" About a camera shot: "Then we'd be talking through Caterina's head." He calls into her left ear, "Hey, John!"   Voice: "Fine. Excellente."   Perry: "What'd he say? Did he say yes?" To Bill: "Why did you have to show up this week . . .  we had all the shots figured out! . . . Cat-er-i-na . . . "   Caterina: "Ho ho ho!"   Perry to Frank: "Are you smoking those funny cigarettes?" Frank: "No, there's a rug burning back here."   Caterina's set: red slats with white feathers and red poinsettias. She practises on stage while the lights are set.   Take Five.   Perry talks to Caterina by the bandstand. They keep saying "the bar-bur of Seville" in a very flat voice, then laughing.   Voice: "M'in the gear, please, man the gear." Caterina is telling the story of an opera singer whose voice has been ruined for popular songs.   The dancers practise.   Perry: "Time to go home. Everybody out." In my direction, aimed, I think, at Charlie: "And I've got a bone to pick with you."   Carl passes by; I give him a club press release. Carl: "Oh thanks, I'll keep this. How do you like being back?" Me: "Oh, it's great. I haven't been here in four years, and Perry remembered me." Carl: "Yeah, that's what counts." He looks as though he is about to hug me, show-business style, instead grabs and squeezes my hand. "Are you going to be travelling next year?" Me: "No---" He has to dash off.   Several takes, then the dancers are through. Studio clears. Scenery is dismantled. Cameras are pushed back.   Monday, April 18   The dance music is being taped when Perry comes in.   Voice: "Perfect! Gorgeous! . . .  Let's do it one more time!" The band then tapes the music for Cottontail.   Perry sits in his chair with Bettina beside him. He wears his camel-hair coat, leaves it on all day. The singers do And Roses and Roses. Caterina arrives, kisses him. "Do you want me to go in?" he asks Ray. "Let's all go in."   Roses again with the singers.   Voice: 'Not so much of the top boys. Watch your sibillances. "   Everyone: "Shh . . .  shh . . . "   Perry: "Would you close the garage door? . . . They've got the garage door open . . . "   Voice: " . . . otherwise it's too slow. Door closed?   Let's go. Quiet in the studio, please. We're recording. Take three."   Caterina tiptoes in with exaggerated gestures as though hoping Perry would notice, but he doesn't, so she goes into the audience and sits down.   Bettina is holding up cue cards for Perry to follow, but he's not singing, just going over the words. Perry: "Perfect. What's wrong, Nick? Beautiful. Wrong word?" Voice: "Beautiful! That's it, buddy." To the band, for Baia: "It's like French horns -- hand over the bell -­ fat , not loud." As the band plays, Perry makes large sweeping conducting motions. Voice: "The boy with the B-flat is too loud throughout . . .  Instead of a triangle can you try a maraca?"   Perry goes up to see Ella in the audience section. Coming down he trips a bit. He stands in the aisle listening to the last taping for Baia, band and singers.   Harry Sobol comes in and talks to someone who says, "Where have you been?" Harry: "One look at Mickey's face . . .  " They talk.   Perry grabs Caterina in a bear hug. Goody goes over to them and I hear Perry saying his funny Italian. Perry talks to Goody. Caterina goes down by the band and practises her dance. Perry pats her hand and leaves the studio hall.   The music for Avalon is taped. Perry returns with Frank. He very lightly sings Turnaround by the band.   Run-through.   Voice: "From the top . . .  from the edge."   The cameras dolly in. Pink, green and yellow lights are turned on. Perry comes down from the audience and drops his script. He goes onto the set.   Voice: "Look slightly to the right. It will give us a better profile. When you're singing it doesn't matter."   Perry, to introduce the cab sequence with Schreiber and Burns: "We've been drinking out here in Brooklyn -- I mean driving . . .  " Schreiber is supposed to say, "I know you -- you're Perry Como!" But he says it too early so they go over that.   Stage hands change the colour filters at the back of the stage, bringing down a row of lights to do it.   Caterina sings Melancholy Baby; the boy dancers gather in readiness at the sides.   Voice: "I won't play the tape until we've already blocked up for action."   Perry goes up and sits opposite Ella.   Caterina on the set: " . . .  the tag of Melancholee Babbee?" The dancers are wearing orange and beige outfits. Caterina has on a white dress with orange slip and shoes. At the end of their dance Perry laughs. He comes down to Caterina and makes a high sign with thumb and finger: she makes one back. He hugs her. Perry to controls: "Tell me when I'll come to here and walk her down . . . (To Caterina) Don't rush away ... (To controls) Which side do you want me on?"   They're asked to switch sides.   Perry: "Then I'll come in from the other side, right? And I say Cat-er-i-na, ho ho ho!"   Turquoise light behind them as they sing Santa Lucia.   Perry: "With Caterina sitting down I feel like I'm in the men's room here. You know, standing with my leg up like this . . . " He kisses her with a resounding smack. " . . . and then I say . . . " Burst of laughter from everyone.   Cab scene. Perry pretends to carry in salad and throw it in the faces of Schreiber and Burns. Then he brings in one bowl. "We need two bowls. We specified two this morning." He drops the wooden spoon and fork several times, then puts the bowl on the front fender and tosses away. "This looks like a Martha Raye bit, doesn't it?" Inside the cab Schreiber starts to fan. Perry: ''What 's burning?" Schreiber: "The cab's burning . . .  lf you see it coming out the top . . . " Perry laughs. Schreiber: "I think it's just dust." Perry sits in his chair. Three people come in to watch rehearsals. The candy lady passes out candies to all the crew. "Any liquorice?" one of them asks. Perry goes over to the cab and inspects Schreiber's hat with all its buttons. Schreiber: "Is this dressing supposed to be oil?" He opens up a jar to be used for a lead into a commercial, and pretends to drink from it. Perry laughs and stamps his foot. Caterina sits down beside me and talks in French to dancer Don about her dress. A young blond girl introduces a friend to Caterina. She discusses her up-coming schedule: four shows in Holland, return trip to the U.S., two Como shows next season . . . ln the States, she finds, TV people are so professional . . .  they make things easy for you . . .  it is a joy to work.   Ella finishes her numbers. Perry from the audience: "Now I've gotta sing, right?"   ElIa and Perry do Tisket. Caterina takes their picture with a colour Polaroid.   Schreiber and Burns do an uncensored bit instead of the cab sequence: "You can tell your Commie pervert by the length of time he spends in the men's room. Your average red-blooded American spends one point five seven minutes in the men's room. Anything longer than that and he's a Commie pervert, and you're entitled to fling the crap at him . . ."   Voice: "Testing, one, two, one, two . . .  "   Girl singers, in white dresses with yellow roses in their arms, gather below the platform of the Latin set.   Voice: "Girls, will you remain facing Perry until your partner reaches you, and when he reaches you, turn to him."   The mike doesn't work properly.   Perry: "A little adhesive there. Sammy Davis used that for a while. Okay, get some tape." He hums Roses.   Caterina runs up and takes a photo of him as he sits on the stool. (She is now wearing a white jump suit.) She comes back beside me to open the picture. It is very good.   She asks how much time they'll have during supper break. Don: "You'll have time to go next door and do another show. In fact, you are going next door to do another show!"   Take Five.   "Man the gear time, please."   Avalon. Perry to John: "There's nothing like a you-know­what . . .  We've got a finish for this you won't believe . . . (To controls) These stale long-shots are what I'm trying to get away from . . .  Oh gee, that's swell! . . . Charlie, Charlie, Char­lie, you're gonna get it tonight! . . .  At this point I punch him in the mouth . . . "   Beak until 4:35 p.m.   We have hamburgers across the street.   Back in our seats. Dee comes over to us, singing, "Tina, Tina, Tina . . . " and gives her a photo autographed by Perry.   Frank stands at the back of the stage combing his hair. Perry returns. He's still wearing his coat, carries a black book (with his script in it?). It's Tony Mottola's birthday. Perry stands up on the bandstand with Nick and Caterina; everyone sings Happy Birthday. Caterina is now wearing a long white gown. he sits down on a stool very tomboyishly, and strums her guitar.   Don Stewart comes by; I wave. "I didn't . . . " he starts earnestly. "I got a ride home last night and I didn't have a chance to read it. It's in my brief case."   Cab sequence. Perry: "Can you change scenes during the commercial? It's murder. It sounds like a subway back here."   Caterina sings. When Perry joins her, Don Stewart goes up and takes a photo.   Ella. Perry watches her on the monitor by the bandstand. Requests. Perry, during the delay: "I guess you folks (the singers) are wondering why I called you together . . .  Dwight! (Then realizing his mistake) Dwight . . .  oh my God . . .  Clark! "   Voice: "Right, Perry, right."   Perry: "You say right but you don't do a thing about it . . .  And Ralph (who gives cues) is stoned again. He has a built-in drunk look. I know it's an image but he must begin building it at seven in the morning."   Avalon. Perry to Caterina, a whispered "You're gonna get a punch in the mouth!"   Voice: "Let's try the last 16  . . . the last eight bars again." Carl dashes madly to the side and back with the required cue cards Just as they finish.   Perry: "I'd like to remind you that next week Andy Russell will be back, with his guests Agnes Moorehead and Russell Neff . . .  And next season we'll be back for our 300th year for Kraft . . .  Ya gotta need the money for that!"   Break at ten minutes to six. Air at 7 p.m. Audience arrives.   Perry comes down to the front and stands in the dark. He welcomes us, tells us to applaud like this -- hands straight, and fast, not like this -- lackadaisically and soft. And laugh loud, so it will sound like there's 30 or 40 people here -- not silently. "I find it very hard to laugh out loud . . .  hahaha . . .  After the show we'll be taping a little bit for the Grammy Awards, and if you'd like to, you can stay for that, and if you don't -- the doors are locked. And after that . . . " But he never tells us what.   A man shouts: "How can I get a picture of you, Perry?" Perry: "Just send two dollars to me . . .  (chuckles) No. I'll take care of it. I'll see that you get one . . .  How many of you took the bus tonight?"   Show of hands.   "From New Jersey," calls a woman at the back. Perry, staggered: "From New Jersey! " Another voice: "There's some people here from Italy." Perry: "Italy! Well, come stai  . . . We have someone on the show who speaks fluent Italian. Don . . .  " Dancer Don comes over to Perry. "Say a few words to them in Italian." He does, and I think he tells them that Perry speaks pretty good Italian himself.   Bernice starts to shout. Perry can't understand her. "Why don't you do a show in Canada?" "Why don't you shut up?" he says back very quickly, then chuckles as though it's a joke. "I can say that." Then he mentions some of the state fairs he'll be doing. He tells a joke: The Italians were sending up some astronauts but not to the moon -- to the sun. The Americans said you're crazy. You'll be burned to a crisp. Oh no, we no burna to a creesp. We go up inna night-time! He wanders off.   Opening song. Then the camera stays on the Kraft sign instead of going to the guests. Long pause.   Perry: "What's wrong? Somebody say something before I faint~ Was the music okay, Clark?" It was.   "Sempere, sempere . . .  Don' t fool around with my Italian! . . .  You thought we were going to louse it up, right? . . .  You see why I have a l2-handicap, right?"   He wanders down to us again. One of the crew shines a light on him and he shields his eyes. "That's bad for the sunburn." He gathers Caterina and Ella. About Ella he says, "She's had a standing invitation for about fifteen years." To Caterina: "You I can't stand . . .  " To Ella: "I have a fan of yours I want you to meet. See that grey-haired guy in the second row? He's only seventeen . . .  The other day we were in a club, and he told me, 'You've got two of my favorite people on your show this week.' He didn't say anything about me . . . "   Time to go. To Caterina: "Back in your placel" Caterina: "Yes, sir! " Perry: "A vante, a vante! " Caterina dances, and there is a break. Perry: "Just watch the monitor and applaud and you'll see what 'II happen -­we'll blow the whole place upl Got the oxygen tent?" He shouts, "Clarker l" About Ralph: "Don't pay any attention to him -- he drinks l He's stoned l" To Caterina: "You, you, you . . . "   During the taping, as he and Caterina are walking forward, the wire from the camera hits a light, so Perry quickly improvises: "Caterina, ho ho ho, when you dance and sing . . .  they always make a noise for me . . .  " Requests. The mike crackles. They do the whole thing and then the head of the mike is changed. Perry comes closer to us, walking a tightrope of cords.   "Tell us a Joke~" people call. "What's black and blue and floats down the river? •• The person who told that last Italian Joke . . .  "   Another one! 'The Germans and Poles are fighting and they're in the thick of battle---No, I don't think I better tell it! I just thought of something!" He chuckles and we roar, despite other pleas to finish the joke.   He walks back to the set, throwing his glasses to Dee by the bandstand, who fumbles them to the floor, but they don't break. Back on the stand. "It's workin', Foxy. I hear you, Foxy." The new mike is a KM-S6, not a -64. " Hello, hello, hello, Tracy. I'm gittin' tiredl Huhl huhl huh l huh l (§" la Jack Burns). " Voice: 11Anytime you're ready." Perry: "You want a little test? We'll give you one."   Voice: "It's a different kind of mike. Perry: "Put it up now, Charlie. Heh? heh? heh? heh? Charlie, you dirty wretchl"   Voice: "It should be okay now."   Perry: "This is almost like the other mike . . .  I know my rights, you know . . .  This is the same mike . . .  How come it's workin' now and it didn't work before? I think you fellows had better put down those bottles till after the show . . . (sings) Every day I spend another greenback . . .  " Testing, in high-pitched voice, "How's this one?"   Voice: "This one will be all right."   Perry: "Wanna bet? Huh? huh? huh? You want a test? (sings) Roses, roses, roses, I give you the roses that you gave to me, I found them on a tree . . . " After the requests: "It was all right, huh? huh? huh?" He comes down to the audience. Someone asks about the golf match. He tells us Palmer won. "Isn't that a son-of-a-gun, for Gay Bewer, losing out to Nicklaus the week before, and then to Palmer." He goes back to the stand to redo some taping.   Voice: "We'll cut at the flowers."   Perry: "You're putting it into their skull there, you dirty rat . . .  There go the flowers . . .  lt's like a well-kept grave up here . . .  " His voice gets husky, he coughs twice.   When he's finished for the last time, he throws the sheets of music high into the air.   Avalon. Just before, Michi comes up and adjusts his tie. "Whyncha nail it on?" Caterina says to him, in Italian, "You're sick!" Perry: "You can put my money on that!"   State fair mention. Bernice screams for Ottawa. Perry: "I was afraid of that . . .  "   He comes down to the audience to say goodnight and thanks us for being so patient. "These grey hairs aren't just painted on, ya know~" About Schreiber: "I think he really is a cab driver . . .  or else he's studied them. He has it all down pat -- the sad face, the drooping moust­ache -- he couldn't care less where you're goin'!"   The pages clear the theatre. I remain for the Grammy taping.   Perry: "I knew you'd screw it up and I don't even know what the hell I'm doin'! (Bangs head on screen) I got my tooth stuck in my tongue and I couldn't see what I was doing---where I was going! This is gonna take longer than the show! You sure this mike is workin'?" He gets Johnny Mandel's name wrong. "I'm tired. You had your finger on it (to Carl) -- that's why I couldn't see it. I don't know Johnny Mandel -- do you know Johnny Mandel ? What the hell have you got your finger on it for?" Retake. Perry, about Carl: "He's just rubbed it off." Carl gets down on the floor and rewrites the cue card • "You mis­spelled 'it' ... This is ridiculous. Whyncha get yourself a new stage manager? (Voice says yeah.) Yeah, he says yeah ... And I'm very tired and I'm gonna vomit."   Finally the little bit is done.   Perry: "That's it! Let's go. The sandwiches are getting soggy!   Break set at 9:30 p.m.   - Cathy McVicar -